Ventnor Blog

With news today that Red Funnel are cutting some of their lunchtime services due to the increase in fuel charges, and Wight Link’s decision to introduce a fuel surcharge to all passengers, we thought the latest news out of our favourite satirical website, News Biscuit, would bring a welcome smile to your faces.
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Continuing the successful comedy nights at Quay Arts with more high quality acts, including Tony Law, Jo Bor and Stuart Hudson.

Tony Law’s infectious comedy will leave you stranded in a hilarious field of ideas. Half Canadian, half Trinidadian, Tony has been busy working hard on the circuit and creating a buzz for himself as one of the most exciting new comedy propositions around.

His laid back acid casualty approach, combined with scorching jokes and incisive remarks, have endeared him to both live and TV audiences here and abroad.

Tony has performed in New York, Aspen, South Africa, Ireland, The Netherlands and in his native Canada. He is a regular face at the UK’s biggest comedy clubs such as The Comedy Store and Jongleurs.
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Critically acclaimed international comedy theatre company Plested and Brown present Minor Spectacular.

A forgotten town is holding out for a superhero. Then Bosch! Terry arrives fixing washing machines and cleansing customer’s souls.

A comedy fantasy from the creators of hit 2005 show Hot Pursuit and directed by Amanda Wilsher.

With manual in hand he gets on his soapbox, rifles through the town’s dirty laundry and exposes mucky habits. No matter how deep the stain, he’s undeterred. But is Terry the angel he seems?
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If you’re a fan of open mic nights and like a bit of variety too, then this event should be right up your street.

If you have a hidden talent and fancy sharing it with a captive audience then head on over to The Roadside Inn, in Nettlestone on Sunday.

Organisers of Painless Parties are inviting anyone who can sing, dance, eat glass (not theirs though please), maybe you can tell a joke, do a monologue or make music in some way.
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At the end of the month, Rick Wakeman will be gracing our shores to bring his ‘Grumpy Old Picture Show’ to the Ventnor Winter Gardens.

Having not heard of the show before, we did a little research and came across an article in the Worthing Herald from earlier in the month.

Speaking to the Herald, Rick points out that the idea came about when he was talking to his friend Stuart Prebble, who is behind Grumpy Old Men, about a new project linking his music and the show.
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The next Comedy Club at Quay Arts will feature a hilarious line up.

Including Winner of Channel 4’s So You Think You’re Funny? 2003 award, TOM WRIGGLESWORTH, Winner of the Amused Moose Comedy Awards 2005 SARAH MILLICAN, a surprise guest, plus half a spot from Paramount Comedy Funniest Student winner RIC WHARTON.

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As you might have noticed, the date today is 1st April and we’ve been having at bit of fun on the blog with our resident blogger April F.Ool.

April joined us this time last year, so if you’re a new reader, you might not have seen some of her previous articles.

Perhaps you missed the Newsflash that went out on Sunday 1st April 2007, News Flash: Cheetah Marine Change Plans.

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A new set of Community Awards are being launched this week and local property developer, Michael Jennings, seems to have caused some kerfuffle at the Awards HQ.

We understand that there are several awards up for grabs, one of which is for Architectural Preservation.
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IW Radio Disc Jockey Alex ‘Big Al’ Dyke was keen to quash rumours this morning, that he is leaving IW Radio for a rival station.

Speaking to media sources on the Wight he spouted:

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Isle of Wight County Councillor and Ward Councillor for Ventnor East, Mr Jonathan Seaver Basildon-Bond has made a public announcement which we are honoured to carry this morning, the 1st of April.

He hasn’t actually stated what it is that he is sorry for, but if he’s looking for ideas of what not what to do, we’ve got a bulging file he can have a thumb through.

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Come and see the future of comedy as Quay Arts presents an Open Mic session.

Hosted by Island funny man, Richard Quigley featuring brand new comedians, including the hilarious Ventnor Girl Hannah George, Paramount Comedy Student Comedian of the Year 2007.

The event encourages new acts from around the world (probably) who may well become household names to try out their funniness right before your very eyes.

Great fun guaranteed.
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Our good friends over at News Biscuit have alerted us to celebrations taking place today to commemorate the 1958 great string shortage.

As a finale to the Easter celebrations, residents of the Isle of Wight are putting finishing touches to preparations for the 50th anniversary of the great string shortage of 1958, when supplies of string almost ran out, leaving local traders in danger of having no means of securing their brown paper parcels.

Read the article in full.

Step into Spring with Quay Arts star line up at the Comedy Club on Friday 28th March. Come and meet US Rock and Roll comic and Human Jukebox Rick Right, BBC New Talent finalist Jimmy McGhie, and stand up comic, scriptwriter and actor Steve Mould from London.

Rick Right
Rick Right is a major presence on the US comedy scene, and stands in a class of his own.

In his unique parody of the Pop Music biz, which continues to manufacture its stars based on how good they look in video, no artist who has ever reached the charts is safe from Rick’s barbs.
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Don’t forget tomorrow night that the Quay Comedy Club returns to Newport.

This month the night features the Island’s very own funny man Andy Askins, with Stuart Hudson and one more surprise act!
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Spring is in the air at Quay Arts when professional touring theatre company Forest Forge return with their latest spoof on village life, To The Marrow on Saturday 15 March - and size really does matter!

The Great Village Marrowthon is about to be contested. Traditional gardener Ed is hoping his beauty will win this year, but he’s up against his arch rival, Miles, a trendy Radio Celebrity Gardener. Can he win fair and square, or will he have to cheat?

It doesn’t help that these two opponents are married to twin sisters!
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Thanks to Roger Regular, who is once again sharing his experience of music at Ryde Theatre. Ed

Shanklin Freak Show, wow what a night, it was certainly a light fantastic at their CD launch.

I’ll try to set the scene; lots of brightly coloured balloons throughout the dance floor, glitter on and off the stage, more than two genders popping out for the night, loads of eye-liner and make-up; that was just the men.
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If you’re a fan of open mic nights and like a bit of variety too, then this event sounds like it might up your street.

If you have a hidden talent and fancy sharing it with a captive audience then head on over to The Roadside Inn, in Nettlestone next week.

Organisers of Painless Parties are inviting anyone who can sing, dance, eat glass (not theirs though please), maybe you can tell a joke, strip to music (what!), do a monologue or make music in some way.

All you have to do is turn up, put your name down and (these are not my words) “play with yourself or with your buddy.”

Now we know what the Nettlestone lot like getting up to!

If you’re looking for something to do with the kids tomorrow, why not head down to the Ventnor Winter Gardens?

The People’s Theatre Company will be performing their production of The Witch’s Bogey.

Before the show, from 2.30 for an hour there will be a workshop where you get to meet the characters and get involved in the story.
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It’s not only unscrupulous property developers who think that they can build whatever they like and get away with it.

According to our favourite daily news site, News Biscuit, it appears that Ernst Blofeld, James Bond’s arch enemy has come a-cropper with plans to build a massive underground control centre and nuclear launch pad on the Wight.
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Have the January blues extended into February?

If so, why not brighten up your month with a trip to Quay Arts’ Comedy Club at the end of the month.

This month the Comedy Club features the Island’s very own funny man Andy Askins, with Stuart Hudson and one more surprise act!

Andy Askins, originally from the north east but now resident on the IW, is a diminutive figure who exudes an air of vulnerability and an innocent child-like quality as he steps up to the microphone armed with a guitar and a cheeky grin.

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If you enjoyed reading Stage One and Stage Two of J. Thompson Wartenburg’s proposals for Ventnor,then read on for his final suggestions. It has sparked much debate over on the Forum, particularly from Maureen and her Labrador. Ed

STAGE THREE
The Botanic Gardens beautiful? Yes I’ll give you that, but adventurous….get outta here!

What comes to mind when you here “garden” - old folks, that’s what! So, out goes the garden and in comes……The Jungle!

What kid can resist the word Jungle? The Botanic Jungle theme park featuring an “edgy” Roller-coater ride, the highest, meanest and fastest in Europe!
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It appears that the recent plans for Ventnor do not meet the agreement of some people in our fair town, but perhaps you need to read on first before making up your minds. Here’s what J. Thompson Wartenburg 3rd proposes for Stage Two. Ed

STAGE TWO
O.K. so we now have about three thousand folk in their holiday apartments, town centre sorted, but what about day visitors ? “Lets go for the dough” to quote our company motto.

The entire front esplanade from the Met to the spyglass and going all the way back to Belgrave Road would be compulsory purchased, demolished, and cleared by the council and handed over to (JTW-MAXI-PROFIT Ltd) on a peppercorn rent with an option to buy the freehold for £100 in five years time. (more…)

We’re honoured that one of our American cousins, who visited our beloved town last year, has forwarded some ideas for regenerating Ventnor. His plans are split into three stages, with the first stage one below. Ed

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is J. Thompson Wartenburg 3rd and I hail from Tampa Florida. I visited your little town last summer and had a delightful stay at the small but quaint Royal Hotel. I had to rent the entire upper floor as my wife needs a lot of wardrobes.

Well, just browsing your delightful little web-site the other night, I came across your attempt to improve the town with a five year plan.

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If the January blues are getting to you and you need a good laugh, head down to Quay Arts tomorrow night.

Quay Comedy Club will be welcoming Andrew Lawrence, Mark Allen and one surprise act onto the stage.

Andrew Lawrence is said to be dark and demonic, whilst Mark Allen, a regular on the comedy circuit, also writes sitcoms, radio plays, comedy sketches and stage plays.

Both have performed at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and have received many rave reviews over the years.

Tickets are priced at £10 / £9 and still available from the Box Office on 822490.