Any Questions: A Satirical Jest

Many thanks to Einstein’s Ghost for his latest spoof submission, playing on the ignorance of those Mainland-jockeys who think the Isle of Wight is 30 years behind the rest of the UK. Ed

Senior Producers at BBC Radio Four are remaining tight-lipped amidst rumours that the tonight’s recording of ‘Any Questions’ at Ryde School may be cancelled.

VB has learnt that concerns were raised following a deluge of hand-written letters sent by Islanders to the show’s production office, all addressed to ‘The BBC Home Service’.

Many of the letters were from locals enquiring as to which ‘dignitaries’ would be on the panel, including one from a lady in Wotton who wrote… ‘I do hope that nice Mr Churchill will be taking part.’

Crisis? What Crisis?
Felicity Tipple-Green, a Researcher on the show who did not wish to be named, told us that, “Any Questions relies on topical questions from the audience and whilst I don’t wish to be picky, questions on what one Islanders call the ‘thorny issue of the Suez Crisis’ or another who wanted to ask if the ‘Profumo Scandal was a sign of moral decline in our country’, doesn’t really bode well for a successful show does it darling?”

Further problems emerged after a recent visit by BBC outside-broadcast technicians ahead of today’s recording, when it was discovered that all the sockets in the School were of the round-pin Bakelite variety and that Internet access was unlikely as the School Caretaker’s niece was on the mainland and had taken her blackberry with her.

The Fab Four
One of the reported panellists for the show is the Liberal Democrat MP for Eastleigh, Chris Huhne. He told VB that he sincerely hoped the BBC would go ahead with the broadcast especially as he was planning to take a small group of local schoolchildren from his constituency as part of their History project on ‘How we used to live’.

The show’s host, Jonathan Dimbleby added to that sentiment and told us “I see no reason to cancel what should prove to be a highly entertaining show. I have a Great Aunt living on the Island who will be in the audience. I phoned her last night and she told me how much she was looking forward to it….and whether I was upset at the Beatles splitting up.”

Come Dine With Me?
On a more positive note for the Island’s image, Channel Four has just returned for a second time to film an episode of its highly successful ‘Come Dine With Me’ series.

Contestants have already been selected, although their identities are a closely guarded secret. Rumours abound though, including one that a senior Council member may be taking part and will be seen ‘cooking his own Goose’.

Image: B Rosen under CC BY 2.0