Author: Daft Old Duffer
Daft Old Duffer: Crossing Paranoia
Monday, 23rd November, 2009 at 11:14 am, Isle of Wight
Cycling, Island-wide, Opinion Piece, Walking
Daft Old Duffer is back and this week he’s sounding slightly paranoid. Let him know if you agree. Ed
Quite often, my walks take me along a stretch of road that is virtually deserted once the morning school run is finished. Sometimes I cross this road as soon as I’ve turned onto it. At others I cross at random points along the way, or at the far end.
But whenever or wherever I decide to cross, at that precise moment a car will come along. Then, usually another, just too close behind to prevent me crossing between them. Then a third, coming the other way.
Once I’ve crossed, the road is once again devoid of any movement. So devoid you could safely stroll right down the middle of it, end to end.
I can assure you this doesn’t happen just now and then. It, or something very like it, happens without fail every time. I’ve tried various dodges, like pretending to cross and then not, or darting at the kerb without warning. But nothing fools those cars.
I know it doesn’t matter a whole lot. But it’s enough of an irritation to make me mumble to myself as I totter along.
A few Sundays ago I tried another tack. I went out for an early bike ride instead. So early there was no sign of life anywhere. No pedestrians, no vehicles.
Until I wanted to turn onto another road, when, each time, a car trundled past at exactly the right time to force me to stop and wait.
Afterwards – nothing again. Not a sign of life along the whole long stretch of tarmac. In either direction.
You think I’m being paranoid? I’m not being paranoid. I’ve upset God is what it is.
Image: Dominic under CC BY-SA 2.0
Related posts:
- Daft Old Duffer: Bike Laws
Daft Old Duffer gives us his view on the new... - Daft Old Duffer: Ventnor Vapouromiter 1
Daft Old Duffer returns with more musings.... - Daft Old Duffer: How Do Fat Blokes Put Their Socks On?
DOD's poses an interesting question .. for some... - Daft Old Duffer: Don’t Judge a Biker By His Leathers
Daft Old Duffer's been out shopping, well, trying to.... - Daft Old Duffer: UP Yours
Who knows what goes on in the mind of a...
Email This Story To A Friend
Its called The Law Of Sod , i find its with me most days , but stand strong and your be fine !!! there is even a book out now called What Jesus Ate a new diet book . what ever next .
(Report comment)
Adverts for sex toys on the ITV :-0
(Report comment)
Your not paranoid DOD. It’s a mathematical thing. You might imagine that entropy would cause random systems – such as the coincidence of cars and pedestrians in a street – to space everything out at equal spacings on average. Not so! In fact, without the tendencies for systems of only slightly different energies to clump together the universal big bang would not have ended in stars, planets and humanity at all. Even when it is not obvious why the clumping effect occurs it does. Not convinced? Here is a classic example of clumping – you are driving along in your car at a speed you feel is both comfortable and appropriate to the road conditions. Surely everybody else is doing the same thing so you will be able to enjoy the open road in the sure knowledge that the other cars will, on average, continue to be equidistant from you. Stop the crazy talk. You know full well that for one reason or another (and the reasons themselves are merely a function of chaos so there is no point in looking into them) you will soon join a caravan of cars travelling together along the road. The caravan – or line of cars – you are in, even if you don’t notice it, will accrete other caravans and over time and may even build up into an apparently inexplicable traffic jam.
The accretion of matter at all levels is crucial to biology and physics as we know them. So next time a car comes along just as you are about to cross, don’t be paranoid. Think; it’s good to be alive.
(Report comment)
You’ve convinced me Big Ears.I’ll never cross a road again.I had no idea I was causing so much trouble.
(Report comment)
‘Your comment is awaiting moderation’?
Who wrote that?It wasn’t me
(Report comment)