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Author: J. Thompson Wartenburg 3rd

Los Ventos: New Development Plan For Ventnor #2

Friday, 1st February, 2008 at 10:31 am, Isle of Wight

Comedy, Planning, Ventnor

It appears that the recent plans for Ventnor do not meet the agreement of some people in our fair town, but perhaps you need to read on first before making up your minds. Here’s what J. Thompson Wartenburg 3rd proposes for Stage Two. Ed

STAGE TWO
O.K. so we now have about three thousand folk in their holiday apartments, town centre sorted, but what about day visitors ? “Lets go for the dough” to quote our company motto.

The entire front esplanade from the Met to the spyglass and going all the way back to Belgrave Road would be compulsory purchased, demolished, and cleared by the council and handed over to (JTW-MAXI-PROFIT Ltd) on a peppercorn rent with an option to buy the freehold for £100 in five years time.

My company would then build an eight story 250 room hotel and mega-entertainment centre featuring a bowling alley, cinema complex, Asda supermarket, the Ventnor landslide virtual re-enactment experience, EZ-ZE-burn tanning and botox salon, ten restaurants, MacDonalds, Burger-king,KFC, Mamas Doughnuts, Pizza a GoGo etc. a conference centre, and the Gunga Din play area for tots, plus a massage parlour on the top floor (subject to council approval).

Pride of place however, would be the 50,000 square feet ground and first floor casinos modeled on my existing casino in Las Vegas. The “Los Ventos” brand would be synonymous with fun and pleasure across the whole of the U.K. People will be encouraged to come over from the mainland for a day out.

Free shuttle buses will run folk from the ferries at Ryde and Cowes directly to the underground entrance of the Casinos. The “Los Ventos” hotel complex will specialise in Hen and Batchelor night “short breaks” and with the fun we can provide and the fantastic setting it’s only a matter of time before big spenders will be coming from all over the U.K.

Yes…24-hour Casinos, the answer to all of Ventnor”s problems.

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One Response to “Los Ventos: New Development Plan For Ventnor #2”

  1. Click if you like this comment shuba     says:
    1, February 2008 at 11:02 am

    First of all- “jaw hits the ground”. Surely this is a joke !

    Secondly, do you intend to spell Batchelor with a ‘T” or do you mean ” Bachelor”?

    Ah, on searching through the forum I see that it is a joke! Phew !

    (Report comment)

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