Author: Sal
Prozac, Charlie, The Pistol and Me
Thursday, 13th July, 2006 at 9:05 am, Isle of Wight
Following on from my posting on the blog … here are some of my favourite extracts from Prozac, Charlie, The Pistol and Me.
In my dreams Sid Vicious appears from out of my refrigerator leering but remarkably fresh; trim yet aged for a man who died so young. His green, punk dyed hair is sharp with points like a malfunctioning starfish, and I am impressed by the shear scale and ambition exuded by its peaks. He gawps at me gawping, and removes some old bacon lodged within his collar, then leans across me (his cold breath nuzzling at my cheek).
….
He wanders over to my record collection, and I find myself staring at his ribcage. Today he is not badly decomposed, but the occasional patch of skin peels back like paper off damp walls. His ribs are thin and white, and look as though they would make a good sound if you hit them; like an instrument… I wonder if perhaps every good musicians has musical ribs.
….
I watch as he tries to take the pen lid off with his teeth. A few spill from his jaw. I notice how yellow each one is; they are like lumps of fermented dust. Slowly, he reaches down and pops a couple back in his mouth. His tongue is green and flapping. Unnervingly it is covered in a sort of silver crust. Worse…it has distracted me from the very obvious fact he wanted the pen to deface several of my Beatles records. He sneers to himself, holding up my original copy of “Rubber Soul”. Guess which of those two words he has crossed out, and ingeniously replaced with “Arse”?
….
Reading through Leeroy’s first three chapters might leave you wanting to get to know him better, so I posed a few questions.
What’s Your Favourite?
Breakfast cereal? – I forget to eat a lot of the time – really… I’m terrible. I do love cereal when certain factors dictate that I eat it though…. Jeremy from Happy Feet turned up with a box of Kellogs Crunchie Nut Cornflakes the other day and they were delicious. They are sooooooo much more than Frosties for w***ers… I’ve just finished them off…. but I’m secretly hoping he’ll turn up with another pack…
Colour? – Black. ;-) Just kidding…. I’m very fond of calm and peaceful blues, or (when I’m feeling a bit revolutionary) nice bolshevik reds. Yellow is a shit colour. Sorry…. but I don’t like it…
Breed of dog? - I love all dogs. Apart from small yappy type ones that look like rats or Paris Hilton accessories. And I don’t like the pitbull terrier that broke my finger when I played football with it once very much either. It made its’ hardnut chav bastard of an owner seem welcoming… I’m not sure what breed of dog he is, but Martin’s dog, Luther is the greatest dog in the WORLD.
Flower? – Prostitutes for the Bees…… ;-) Give me a nice radish to put in my lapel any day. I’m trying to grow some passionflower over a fence at the moment actually. It’s going to be awesome if I can get it to take….
Leeroy T Mofo will be releasing the novel in full next year. He’s got a lot of work to do on it still, but I for one can’t wait to see the finished version.
Extracts from Prozac, Charlie, The Pistol and Me. copyright Leeroy T Mofo 2006
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